Dancing with my Dad

I heard a song today, "dancing with my Dad". It was like the song writer had looked into my life and wrote my memories into a song. Some of my most precious memories was dancing with Dad, from twirling around as a little girl to dancing in the Father/ daughter dance at the end of year school ball at Cloudland.  The last time, I was in year 6 and the dance was the Pride of Erin. My favourite of the dances. We got about half way through the dance and Dad had to pull out to sit, he was sick, but had made such an effort to come, determine to try and dance with me. I cried and cried that night, I think I somehow knew it would be our last dance. My early memories, I would watch my Dad dance with my Mum around the lounge, while a little embarrassed to witness such intimacy, I saw great love. My Dad would love to take my Mum out to dinner and dancing. Mum would look stunning in a gown and heels, dad in his suit. He would say he had the best looking girl on his arm and then he would twirl her around to get a look from her back. He would then give a wolf whistle and mum would give him a kiss. Dad loved to whistle, he did this because he couldn't sing, but he would try sometimes, when mum was playing his favourite songs on the piano.
The day Dad died our would collapsed, he was our anchor, and strength of our family.

Nursing reflection

30 years ago this week, I was walking into the Mater School of Nursing to begin my training and forge out a career in nursing.  I was young and very green around the gills, but full of enthusiasm to want to be a nurse.  A lot of this desire came from helping to ‘nurse’ my Dad while he was so sick at home, and from long hours waiting in the PAH to see him for only a few minutes.  Now I know what Dad needed most was good quality palliative care, but there wasn’t much of it around in the 1970’s. Palliative care was being told that you needed to go to Mt Olivet because there wasn’t any more doctors could do to help you.  It’s no wonder so many people were frightened of the place, and many still are.

Nursing has certainly changed in the last 30 years, technology advances, university training, specialties evolving and more emphasis placed on research, quality, evidence based, best practice guidelines.  Shorter admissions, with advances in all areas of medicine contribute to the fast pace of hospital wards these days.  Mostly all positive changes, though I sometimes feel that we have lost a part of the care of humanity, that comes with spending those few more minutes, hours, days with patients.  The connection, knowing what is important to patients can get lost in the busyness of life on the ward; the discharge planning begins at admission, so we are looking to get people out on time.  Again good management, good use of scarce resources and important outcomes/targets are met.  But what is the patients experience of this ?  Great for surgical patients, but oncology and palliative care, I’m not always sure? 

I set out on a nursing career to make a difference.  It has been rewarding in many ways.  Each day can bring something new; you are continually learning, and meeting new people from all walks of life, for illness doesn’t discriminate.  I am inspired by many of those I have cared for, and by their families.  I have laughed, cried and held many hands.  I have shared my knowledge, my skills, and my heart.  I have had the privilege of caring for thousands of patients, yet my hope is that each one felt they had been cared for individually.    I’m not always sure I have, but it is my prayer.

In 30 years I have grown from a young timid nurse to a confident palliative care nurse.  It has been quite a transition, and quite a journey to get to this point.  I have been grateful to many mentors who have encouraged me, educated me and inspired me to press on to achieve my goals and reach my potential.  While I have gained a few pounds, a few grey hairs, arthritic knees and back, I would choose nursing again.  While I have the energy, the enthusiasm, and the heart, I will continue to work and care for the patients and families that come across my path and hopefully mentor other nurses to for fill their own future goals.

Not quite ready for retirement just yet, though some days it is very appealing!