The Search for Significance

This was some material I prepared for a growth group which studied the book: Search for Significance. My attempt was to bring a practical demonstration to a topic that can sometimes be a difficult concept to grasp.

(Start with the lights off for a minute). Allow darkness to envelope us, as we struggle to see. Light a candle or turn on a torch, revealing some of what can be seen. Then turn the lights on to reveal everything that was hidden a few moments before.
The greater the light source the more that is revealed to us. We can see the difference between the candle/ torch and the light bulb. This is an example of what our journey together will be like over the coming weeks. The light represents God’s truth and the more we begin to allow the light to shine in our hearts, the greater the freedom we experience and with this freedom will come our significance and worth.
It is difficult to turn on the light of objectivity by ourselves. We need guidance from the Holy Spirit and usually the honesty, love and encouragement of at least one other person who is willing to help us. The Lord desires truth and honesty at the deepest level and wants us to experience His love, forgiveness and power in all areas of our lives.
Our responsibility is to apply the truth of God’s word to our life and to embrace the plans and purposes He has uniquely designed for us. This does require commitment, as many of our beliefs and thoughts will need challenging and action plans to change. That is why it is important that we journey together, encouraging and supporting each other to build up and reinforce God’s truth.
A word of caution, sometimes it can be easy to see the problems of others, so the words of Jesus are a timely reminder to first remove the log in your own eye first. We are not here to judge, we are here to grow. This needs to be a safe place where people can share from their heart, open and honestly, and feel loved and valued by their fellow companions.
So what is this search we are on?
· The search for truth
· The search for significance.
Most of us enjoy a good mystery or treasure hunt. I know I do. The key to finding the treasure is examining the map and beginning to put together the pieces or clues that we are given. This is the way to moving forward. Let’s prepare ourselves for an exciting few weeks ahead and to the challenges we need to overcome, to find treasure that will sustain us for our life’s journey.
What’s the treasure you may ask? It is the ‘knowing’ in your heart and in your mind of your worth, to God, to yourself and to others. The acceptance of this truth, falling deep into your soul, will act as a foundation stone, reminding you of who you are and the great value of your life in the hands of God.
Let’s begin. As with all good adventures there is a story that unfolds, this one begins with Adam.
His purpose was to reflect the Glory of God. Through his intellect, free will and emotions he was to be the showcase for God’s character. To meet his needs for companionship and understanding, Eve was created and together they lived in a perfect environment where God provided for their every need. They were perfect in body, mind and spirit.
Adam was given authority over the earth, but there was a condition. If he rebelled against God, he would lose both his authority and his perfection, becoming a slave to Satan and sin. The villain of this story is Satan and he wanted this authority and so he deceived Eve into believing a lie. Adam was not deceived, he deliberately chose to forsake the love and security of God and follow Eve in sin. (1Tim 2:14) In this act of rebellion, Adam forfeited his close communion and fellowship with God and gave Satan power and authority on earth. One of the tragic implications of this event is that man lost his secure status with God and began to struggle with feelings of arrogance, inadequacy, and despair, valuing the opinions of others more than the truth of God. This robbed man of his true self-worth and put him on a continual, but fruitless, search for significance through his success and the approval of others.
Adam’s sin had tragic consequences, but through God’s plan of redemption, we can still have the privilege of fellowshipping with Him. Because Christ paid the penalty for our sins our relationship with God has been restored. God has provided the solutions but the question is this:
Will we accept Christ’s death as the payment for our sins and discover the powerful implications of our salvation, or will we continue to follow Satan’s lies and deceptions?
We must give up our own efforts to achieve righteousness and instead believe that Christ’s death and resurrection alone are sufficient to pay for our sin and separation from God. It would be arrogance if you were trusting in yourself – your abilities, actions and good deeds – to earn your salvation.
Since the Fall, man has often failed to turn to God for the truth about himself. Instead, he has looked to others to meet his inescapable need for self-worth. “I am what others say I am”, he has reasoned. “I will find my value in their opinions of me”.
It’s amazing that we turn to others who have a perspective as limited and darkened as our own to discover our worth, rather than relying on God’s steady, uplifting reassurance of who we are. Instead we depend on others who base our worth on our ability to meet their standards.
Our search for significance is dominated by our performance and ability to please others.

Our true value is based not on our behaviour or the approval of others but on what God’s Word says is true of us.
This is where X marks the spot !!
So now we have the story, the map (God’s truth) and the ‘X’ (where the treasure lies). What we need now is a plan to get from where we are now to ‘X’ (the treasure).
Where are we now?
We are hidden in the lie that our self-worth = our performance + other’s opinions.
To move on from here we need to reject this lie and accept God’s valuation of us, this leads us to renewed hope, joy and purpose in life. We can think of this as the red line that leads us to the ‘X’. The difficulty comes in the many detours we take, going to virtually any lengths to win the approval of others and to perfect our own performance, relying on our ability and strength. This road is endless, and never gets to ‘X’, it’s doomed to fail and it continually brings disappointment and despair.
We all have a compelling, God-given need for love, acceptance and purpose. But we live by the deception that our worth is based on our performance and other’s opinions, we get caught up in 2 types of struggles.
Compulsiveness
This leads to wanting to control every situation
Perfectionist.
Motivated by the need to be a success, to be the best.
Relationships are usually manipulative and controlled, to serve their goal.
Withdrawal
Avoiding failure and disapproval by avoiding risks.
They may appear easy going, but inside they are usually running from every potential situation or relationship that might not succeed.

These are 2 broad categories, most of us fall somewhere in between. Working hard in areas we feel sure of success but avoiding people and situations that may bring rejection and failure. “Protecting ourselves”.
We develop elaborate defence mechanisms to block pain and gain significance. We suppress emotions, we are compulsive perfectionists, we drive ourselves to succeed, or we withdraw and become passive, we attack people who hurt us, we punish ourselves when we fail, we try to say clever things to be accepted, we help people so that we will be appreciated, and we say and do countless other things.
From life’s outset, we find ourselves on the prowl, searching to satisfy some inner, unexplained yearning. Our hunger causes us to search for people who will love us. Our desire for acceptance pressures us to perform to gain praise from others. We strive for success, driving our minds and bodies hard and further, hoping that because of our sweat and sacrifice others will appreciate us more.

So how did we get here?
Our self-esteem and view of God are usually a mirror of our parents’ attitudes toward us. Those who are loved and affirmed by their parents tend to have a fairly healthy self-concept and usually find it easy to believe that God is loving and powerful. Those whose parents have been neglectful, manipulative, or condemning usually seem to feel that they have to earn a sense of worth and that God is aloof, demanding and/or cruel. Our parents are our models of the character of God. When we do not have that fundamental sense of feeling lovable and protected by them, we tend to base our self-worth on how well we perform and please others instead of on what God says.
We do not have to be successful or pleasing to others to have a healthy sense of self-esteem and worth. It has freely been given to us by God. It allows us to say “While it would be nice to be approved by my parents/ or whomever, if they don’t approve of me, I’m still loved and accepted by God”.
· Christ is the source of our security.
· Christ is the basis of our worth.
· Christ is the only one who promises and never fails.
The process of change takes:
· Time
· The encouragement of others
· The truth and application of God’s Word
· The power of The Holy Spirit.

Now we are equipped with what we need let go on a hunt for treasure..... Are you with me?